Episode E7S07: The Identity of Christ Revisited

The Podcast for today is one Vicki and I recorded August 14, 2023. The topic is our “Identity.” It is our most listened to podcast of the 178 we’re recorded. I think it is still one of the most critical issues of life and of our advancing years. Who are we? What does our identity of being “in Christ” mean in terms growing older? What is life “in Christ” all about? Here it is again, just as we recorded it then. I hope you’ll enjoy it again.

Pressing on for all that God has for us “in Christ.”

Hal

We exist to call a generation of retiring boomers and aging believers to leverage their lives for the fame of Jesus and the glory of God. 

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Hal’s wife, Vicki, shares her heart about the importance of “Identity” in all of life, and particularly, in the aging years. Perhaps nothing is as important in life than knowing who God created us to be and to see ourselves as He sees us through the life and death of His Son, Jesus. Satan attempts to pull us away from that incredible truth by tempting us to see our value through what we do. Vicki speaks out of her own heart to women, but the truth of her heart speaks to men as well. Let’s press deeper into our identity in Christ and stay focused on His purposes as we grow older.

Transcript

Seth Muse: 0:03

Welcome to the finishing wealth podcast where we encourage seasoned believers to find meaningful ways to impact their world for the kingdom of God. Whether you're 65 and up, are not quite there yet, everyone can begin preparing to finish well. Now, here's your host Randy has with the founder of finishing wheel ministries, Hal habecker.

Dr Hal Habecker: 0:24

I want to welcome you to the finishing well podcast today. My name is Howie habecker. And I have a special guest with me again, today. It's my wife, Vicki habecker. She's been by my side for several decades, almost five now. And she's played an influential role in my life and obviously in the life of our family. And I want to add in this season of life called finishing well ministries. Recently, she gave a message to the women of our church on identity. And as I think about identity, you know, there's not perhaps a more crucial concept wrestle with as identity in our ag years, who are we who we've been the last 20 years? And what is God making us? How's he making us new all over again? And how do we understand our identity? So, Vicki, I love your being here today. I love your insights on this topic. So welcome, again, you've been here before with interviewing some people, and I love having you on. So welcome to the finish wall podcast.

Vicki Habecker: 1:34

Thank you. When I spoke to the women in our church, I'm mainly directed my thoughts toward women. And you may hear me say a few things today that are more directly toward all women. But men can identify with this as well. I talked to the women about our at our church, who we really are as women who belong to Jesus, and where we get ident our identity from what or who determines our identity? And why is it seem to be constantly changing, especially with each year that we grow older? I think we all as believers would love to say that our identity is totally from Jesus. But if we're honest, I think our society, social media, well meaning friends and families, and specially Satan. They're all trying to challenge us to get us to question what we know, to be true from scripture, you know, false identities, hell are rampant. These days. They're being thrown at us new ones. For me moment by moment. And my question is, am I accepting those blindly? Am I accepting those fake identities without realizing it? We need to realize it. Let me start by saying when my parents moved out of their home into an assisted living facility, I was going through things at their house on my mother's side, everything, and I found my Girl Scout sash, with a little sewn on merit badges. There was a merit badge for cooking bar. Gardening for us skating, everyone for camping in hell, you know, that's funny. My idea of roughing it is an old holodeck, even maybe a black and white TV. There was not a merit badge for anything in Galatians. Six. There wasn't a marriage merit badge for patient or kindness, godliness, self control the badges were for things that I was doing. And you're gonna hear me make that analogy several times in the next few minutes. Even our little church with giving envelopes had boxes to check. As you filled out your envelope, you put your name and you could check. You went to Sunday school, check to the church service and check you read your Bible and check you gave your offering so many I loved that little church I was saved at that church. I saw God write my name down in his book of life when I walked out, and I knew I was saved. There was a new creature I would live eternally. My works would not get me to heaven. Only Jesus sacrifice on the cross. But why was there so much emphasis on doing? So my question how is are we really human beings? Or have we become as we age, human doings? The other thing that I learned and I shared with the women was about a lion tamer. First of all, why would anybody want to be a lion tamer, less like have a death wish. But a lion tamer takes three things into the cage with him. He takes a whip, it takes a gun. And he also takes a wooden chair or stool, like a three legged stool with the four legs of a chair. And when he points out that at the lion, it gives the lion too many things to focus on. So even what happens to that line? Before he says he's rendered harmless because he has too many things to focus on. And I think that's what's happening with our society today. I think our focus is so divided. We try everything. We've got to pedal faster to keep up, cook healthier, go to Bible studies, but I'm afraid sometimes like that lion, were totally rendered harmless. I have to think of Luke, I think it's 10. When Jesus went to see Mary and Martha, you remember how where was Mary? Jesus, she was sitting, she was being with Jesus, I'm afraid. Especially women. I think we're a little bit more like Martha. We're just real busy. And even Jesus told her, Martha you're worried and distracted. Remember the, the illustration of the lion. And the lion tamer, it was distracted. Jesus said, Martha, you're worried. And you're distracted. us so many things. He didn't say a few things. He said, so many things. And I think that's what's happening. We read, or we hear on social media, or we read something that we need to. And Martha probably read these shoes in the kitchen, probably redecorating our kitchen, or it's the wrong car cabinets or the wrong color. But we're missing out an opportunity to be with Jesus to absorb him. It makes sense. It does.

Dr Hal Habecker: 7:22

But let's interact on this for a little bit. And I'm sure you got other things to say as well. So I want to keep you from that. But you know, God made us to work. He may He created us to work six days a week. So we are doings we are managing his creation. So our doings that interact with me, how does how do our doings upset who we are, I mean, who we are, is we're made an image of God. And we're created to reflect Him in the work of our hands. So if our, if our emphasis is on the work of our hands without going back to understand who we are, then our identity I think gets mixed up. So we try and find our identity and what we do, rather than who we are, is that what you're saying

Vicki Habecker: 8:17

is exactly what I'm saying. I think we were especially women, we wear so many hats. And I'm not talking about the Kentucky Derby ones. Hats are are a title or something usually based on something we're doing. I looked back health, especially with us talking about aging. The different hats. I'm worn at different seasons of my life. In my 20s my hat was I was married to a Dallas Seminary man. I was in blainley. That honey, that was a hat. How do I measure up? Do I look like a seminary wife? Do I look like what's going to be a pastor's wife? Wilma house, be okay. When you brought your favorite seminary professor and his wife over dinner, and didn't give me much notice. But that was that was something I was doing in my 20s then the 30s we started having children. And I was driving carpool. And that was something I did. I had to get my kids to a private Christian school and an older car. Wondering why they were McDonald's french fries on the floor when I left the kids out did a teacher or somebody else see me? That was in the 30s and 40s. We were raising kids more trying to be I was trying to do all the right things. I'm gonna digress just a second I some of you listening may know the name of Juby Jeffress a She was a journalism teacher at Hillcrest High School. She was a distinguished SMU alumna and I was privileged that she was one of the women, along with Kay Brady and Anne Forster, who tried to disciple me when I was in my 30s and 40s. Judy Jeffers died from cancer many, many years ago. And because of my medical background, I was asked a couple of times to sit up with Argonne at night and help manage her pain medication. And one night when she was fairly lucid. I told her, I said, Judy, you're probably going to make Jesus before I do an AMA young mother. Give me something from you that I can hold on to. And help me remember what she said. She said, look, she looked right at me. And she said, Vicki, remember, if you take the credit for your kids successes, you must take the blame for their failures. So don't do either. So there was a season in my life, where my kids and everything involved with rearing now, you and I are trying to do the best we could. That's what defined me that was the hat that I was wearing. Another hat and this was probably hell more in our late 50s, early 60s, I wear the hat of caring for aging parents. And I asked myself all the time, am I doing this right? Am I doing enough for them? Gallery man decision, you lived through that with me. Remember one particular time when both my parents were in the hospital, same hospital, same floor, side by side rooms. And as you know, by and now our audience will know, the way we cope with stress is we go eat Mexican food. And I will never forget one night is going to our favorite restaurant. And I was just sobbing. And I said I can't do this anymore. I'm an only child. And so their care and their decisions, it was all on my shoulders. And I just remember using that word, I can't do this anymore. I will need to be in California her daughter was having a new baby. But I felt torn. stained with the staying with my same with my parents. The the last two years of my life I'm just gonna be wrong this year have been really hard and swiftly know that I had major foot surgery, I was in a cast in a boot and on one of those knee scooters almost for six months. And when I got over that you had foot surgery. And the same thing happened. But it was getting close to Christmas. Remember this and our family from the west coast was coming in. And I thought I'm gonna get a hot soaking bath and I grabbed some bath salts and started filling the bathtub full except it wasn't bath salts. It was a bag of Christmas popery. I had pine cones and bark, and red and green glitter floating in the tub and the phone rang. And I answered it, and it said the name of the clinic where my surgeon was but it was in the clinic. It was my surgeon himself. And he said making bad news on Sayana say my bathtub if you're bad news. But he said I have to redo your surgery. And that's something you don't want to hear. And then he said, I'm gonna have to be creative this time. Well, you certainly don't want to hear creative as an adjective from a surgeon. He said up to take the plates out the screws out. And I thought I did this before I can do this again. This time, I'm going to be a missionary to myself. And you know what didn't work. I was discouraged. I felt isolated. I started questioning who I was because of where I got my identity from because I couldn't do anything. And I realized I was more of a human doing than a human being. So I went through. Okay, so sadly, he's not going to do this to me. I'm not going to do that long. let Satan do this to me. I'm going to find out who God says and what my identity is. In. The first one I went to was John 112. It says, you know, I'm a daughter of the king. You're a son of the king. God is the King of the universe. So I'm a daughter of him which means I'm a princess. I've chosen this the one that got me the most thing. Visions. One four says before the foundation of the world, he chose me. That means before he said, Let there be light, he chose me. Now, that isn't an identity that society can't mess with. Second Corinthians tells me that I'm his M faceter. An official representative to a foreign country. This country is a foreign country, it's a mess, and it gets weirder every day. But I need to represent and Jesus every arena of my life, whatever age I am, whatever season or other things I'm facing, I need to I need to recognize that I'm his chosen and and to represent him. But like you said, then the line gets them. Because there are works ordained for us to do, there's that word again. Ephesians 210 says were his workmanship, created in Christ for what? Good Works. Sermon on the Mount, let your light shine, so that people the world, the loss world, even the believing world, can see our good works. So there are things ordained, like you asked earlier, for us to do at every age. Every decade we're in every season, every event I need to be the hands and feet of Jesus to our world, our family, our friends, our messed up society. Chapter up relatives. So good. What is that say, with Mao warts in my background, my failures, my weaknesses, my cute hats, and my ugly hands. And LM, the Appaloosa, it's hard to believe that I'm engraved on the palm of his hand. So when society starts messing with me and telling me that I don't measure up, I've got to do more. It makes me think I'm just a mistake, but I'm not. I'm a daughter of the king. The whole to relish in my identity, Christ alone, in put all this other mess away, because only a thin Can I quit trying to impress. Maybe even press myself. I just, I wonder what God gives the most gives God the most joy. These perfect people, these young people doing perfect, exciting things. Or as a welder. still busy women fighting a daily battle to become more to look more like Jesus. And I think are small victories, as we age, give him as much pleasure and more joy and our mess ups bring him disappointment. Does that make sense? It does.

Dr Hal Habecker: 18:33

Let me ask you a question too. And I love the fear you share from your heart. It seems like at every age, those issues are all there. What what is your identity in when you're in your 20s Newly married having family starting a career starting a job raising your kids? And they go off to college and you know, everything changes all the time. But how you see yourself is always the same issue. Do you see yourself in Jesus? And are your motivations coming out of who you are from him? Or is that kind of in a closet and you go around with your doings? How do you connect the two? I mean, even in our age and our 70s Now, my guess is it's no different now than it was in your 50s I mean, I had a job we pastored a church, you know so now it's a it's a ministry now. So talk to me about the difference between identity. Maybe there's a proper way of thinking about our identity gone about doing all the stuff we do but never get lost in what we do is our identity. Our identity isn't who we are, and how we flesh that out. And what we do is born out of making sure our identity is true every morning every noon every night even while we sleep That's our identity. So how do you pull these two together? So they're not in conflict?

Vicki Habecker: 20:42

I have no idea. And that's what I'm working on at my age. Oh, I remember one story how we, the kids were all still at home. And we were having a bunch of people over and for dinner, and house was a mess. And I told her three kids, I'd said, help me clean up this house. I said, I'll pay you. And you know, kids will do anything for money. I remember Jennifer eldest coming to me, I was in the kitchen. And she came to me with a pile of stuff and said, What do you want me to do with this as if you still throw it in my closet? A little bit later, Bethany, our second daughter came to me with her arms full of probably laundry, I don't know if this is cleaned up. It's dirty. It's not folded. What do you want me to do with it? And I said, I can't do anything with it right now. Throw it in the closet. And then Jonathan, our son comes home from football practice, and he smelled like football practice. And he's taken off his clothes and said, stop, stop. We're having company do the Delta letter. And he said, What do you want me to do with all this stuff? And I said, Dawn in my closet. And about 10 minutes before the guests were to come out, you came into the kitchen, and said, Honey, do you think you might want to go get dressed. And I'll walk and opened, walked into our bedroom, we opened our master closet, and I couldn't get in it. It was piled high with stuff I was hiding. I think that's a lot like our lives, depending on what season we're in. What do we harden? And who are we hiding it from? I want to look good on the outside. I want to impress my families. I want to impress her friends. Impress Jesus. But how good I am, how smart I am, how organized I am. How many hats I wear. I say this to you. I've got too many plates spinning in the air. So an answer to your question. We have to shut out the noise of what we're doing. And quit trying to hide our weaknesses or failures or insecurities. Because God doesn't say I love you for what you doing. He said lucky for who you are. If you remember, Allah put a sign on the closet, trying to be funny. But a total gas as he opened this closet, we're no longer friends. And that was supposed to be funny, but in about our lives, right now. If a friend's really saw me, and my family really saw me, or even sometimes if God really saw me, well, he does. Maybe he wouldn't call me his friend, his adorable child, he'd be embarrassed by me. But no hell he sees my closet. He sees your closet. He sees when we are letting who we are in his son in Christ, when we let everything else be louder than what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me who am he? He knows all that stuff. You know, knows all that stuff. I'm adored by God. I'm engraved in the palm of his hand. He chose me before he said, Let there be light. Those are identities that society can't mess with. But I have to somehow or another turn off how loud those false identities are in relish, OMA true identity. That makes sense.

Dr Hal Habecker: 24:25

Sure does. It reminds me as we think about wrapping this up. It reminds me of Romans 12 To where Paul says, be not conformed to this world. Or Don't be conformed by all the hats you feel like you need to meet and they're real hats. I mean, you got to raise kids, you got to have a marriage, you got to do stuff, got to fix the house. You got to go to work till you're doing this but you're not conformed by the doing in terms of how you see yourself. And it seems to me the answer there is somewhere daily moment by moment. You have to anchor the Word of God, to drill it deep into your heart so that you can live the opposite way. You live from the inside out, not from the outside in. And that's how we affirm our identity and Jesus.

Vicki Habecker: 25:12

Think about especially we women, regardless of our age, we need to learn to say no. There are so many wonderful opportunities, church ministries. discipling young gals, being the hands and feet of Jesus to neighbors are so Oh, many wonderful things we could do. But we can't do them all. And as we age, a little bit that we do, I'm certainly a lot slower of getting a lot of those things to. So I have learned to say no, I have tried more to accept, at my age, what I can't do anymore. So what I do, those false identities change all the time, if you notice, thinking back on those hats, they're all temporary. They changed all the time. So now in my seven days, my hats are going to change, even with a few years God leaves us here is going to be different. And there are still things he wants me to do. But I don't want that to take the place. And just deal with him.

Dr Hal Habecker: 26:36

To say, we're back to where you started. Mary and Martha, do I take time? Do you take time? Do we as aging people take time every day, to find our identity in Jesus, before we do anything else, doesn't mean I have to get up at 5am and read my Bible for an hour. But it does mean that I begin every day I think about the reference part of my life, I'm here to worship Jesus, I'm here to worship God. I'm here to know Him, to know the fellowship of His sufferings to know who he is and how he wants me to follow him. And then I go into my life, and I do what he asked me to do. But if I miss that, being secure in him and my identity, everything else is adversely affecting

Vicki Habecker: 27:20

him. You know, another thing just popped in my mind, I think of the things we do, we put a value on certain ones over other ones. You mentioned your mom before the last few years of her life when she couldn't do anything. She was a prayer warrior. Now I look at somebody that's a famous Bible teacher or something like that. And I think we have a tendency to put a higher value on some hats, or some things that people are doing, rather than more simple thing. Your mother couldn't do anything physically anymore, but she was a prayer, like, no one I've ever know. So I think we have to be careful about putting a hierarchy to things we do as believers, especially as women, we play that comparison game a lot. Like sense.

Dr Hal Habecker: 28:25

Judah's you've given us a lot to think about and to resonate. A gene is an issue where everything continues to change. And we as we age need to take our lives are our other things that are conflicts for us. All the things that we wrestle with, we need to take them to Jesus. You know, like he said, If any of you have hardships, Take my yoke upon you and learn me for I am meek and lowly in heart, you shall find rest and your souls, the only rest we have is seeing our identity in Jesus day in and day out everyday we live so that's why we're here to encourage each other to do that.

Vicki Habecker: 29:07

And dad died at age 94. And I was an only child. And my daddy used to say, That's my girl. He would always say that to me whether I was at the top of my game, or in the pit of despair, and I've been at both places. But he always said That's my girl. Think that's what Gods says women. That's my girl. She may be 20 She may be nanny. She's my girl. And he says that a pet you may think he's special discounts.

Dr Hal Habecker: 29:42

I would agree with that. I loved you anyways, thanks you're you're awesome. Thanks for sharing your heart with us today. This is the finishing while ministry podcast dealing with issues as we age listening to God learning from the world we live in. We have a lot of podcasts out there go to our website finish you well ministries dot O R G we have the seven essentials. Aging with intent resources we have small group started in churches all over America. And it's a joy to be with you. I'm glad you were here. May God bless you and let's keep living our lives for him. Thanks again

Seth Muse: 30:28

thank you for listening to the finishing well podcast. We hope you're encouraged by today's conversation to continue living out your God given Purpose subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts or you can find us at finishing well ministries dot O R G slash podcast. And don't forget to follow us on social media at finishing well ministries we'll see you next time